"Judge a tree from it's fruit, not from it's leaves." (Unknown)
"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? First take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye." (Matthew 7:3,5)
We live in a very diverse world that is ever changing. There are so many rare and unique individuals who have different gifts and talents, so why is it so easy to fall into a trap of judging and criticizing our friends, family, co-workers, and others that cross our paths? How easy it is to focus on other peoples faults while excusing our own! We are all flawed people, and people with flaws have no right to judge other people's flaws. I am certainly remorseful of having attacked people's differences and failures, and work very hard to focus on their values and genuineness. Rather than having a holier-than-thou attitude, we need to examine our own conduct and judge ourselves first. Criticism can be unfair and unjust, and it is just the opposite of being gracious. By illustrating our character with integrity, reaching out with love, generosity, and kindness to others, we can build our loved ones up rather than tearing them down.
"Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way." (Roman's 14:13)
I strive to constantly monitor the effects that my behavior has on others, and to be sensitive to their needs. The right way to interact with others is to be aware of one another; aware and considerate of their flaws and mistakes. Because even when people make mistakes, we can still see the best in them, love them, and care for them. It is not in our Christian "job description" to pass judgment on others, that's God's territory! "It is mine to avenge; I will repay, says the Lord." (Romans 12:19) Only God truly knows a persons heart, and He is the only judge! God's justice is always fair and He has perfect timing. His judgment is unique to the individual, not based on a formula.
"If you judge people, you have no time to love them." Mother Teresa
"Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited." (Romans 12:16)
We should offer ourselves and be quick to respond to the diverse environment we live in. We don't know what challenges God has given someone, so how can anyone judge someone else unless they've arrived in the same place and life circumstances as they have? Judging is selfish and a sign of our self-righteousness; it is self serving and shows no taste. And God isn't so easily fooled; He sees right through us! And I'm pretty sure that God is judging us too!
So often I've fallen into the trap of "Junior Holy Spirit". Like you I'm pretty sure that God is not pleased. My prayer over the last 5 years or so is, "God, make me completely righteous and not one bit self-righteous." He's changing me!
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